co incidents.

one of my friends recently told me he admired how i clearly communicate my thoughts in my blog posts. i'm not sure my thoughts are always that clear. on the contrary, i feel like i babble on and on incoherently most of the time, which is why i made a label for my posts called "nonsensical verbiage." which is what i feel is about to happen as i start this post...


i'll begin with a favorite anecdote my parents love to tell of my childhood. they packed up our chevy suburban, complete with car topper and three small children, and headed out of beckley, west virginia, bound for mississippi. the journey was 12 hours long, the road was hard, but hey there ain't no rest for the weary. anyhow as the story goes, we got to the stop light at the bottom of the hill about a mile from our house and my little 4 year old self squealed out from the back seat, "are we THERE yet?"


sometimes i live my life like that. am i there yet? is it time? when will i arrive at point x?


when i first got to ghana, i didn't fall in love with the place. i still don't think i have. the city of accra is not beautiful or charming. it's dirty. and the way it operates boggles my mind; i don't know how it holds itself together... from my naive outsider's perspective, there is hardly any infrastructure or structure to begin with. everyone just kind of does their own thing but at the same time looks out for each other more than any average joe in america would ever consider doing. it's like when you put water in a bucket and spin it around and the water doesn't fall out because of the physics of it all-- accra is like that. it's spinning around, running around like a chicken with its head cut off, but nothing ever goes terribly wrong.
so these are my thoughts five weeks into my time here in accra.


this week i realized that i could see myself staying here for a long time. for the first time ever, i wasn't opposed to putting down roots. i had stopped asking, "are we there yet?" without even knowing it. i'm not sure what brought this change. perhaps it was tuesday, when i listened to country music while it rained, and my worlds collided in a burst of nostalgia. or perhaps it was that evening when i went on a run through a residential area and could have easily convinced myself i was running on yellowbrick road at my uncle's house in mississippi. the red clay, the old men gardening, the kids getting home from school, the humid heavy air-- my second burst of nostalgia.
but none of this was the bad kind of nostalgia. have you ever read up on nostalgia? it can bring feelings of joy or sadness. this nostalgia was pure joy. joy that i can appreciate the past, the good ol' days, at the same time as i enjoy this new adventure. my story is being written, the pages are being filled up faster than i can comprehend. day by day they fill, creating a chapter of life unique specifically to this place and this time.


wednesday i went to Mokola Market, the largest outdoor market in west africa. FREAKING HUGE and CRAZY place. you can buy everything from soap to cow skin from a cow killed 2 days ago to cloth to pots and pans to alcohol to clothespins to straws from Subway to meat pies to prada knock-off purses. i'd seen it featured in the episode of Amazing Race when the cast went to ghana and made fools of themselves, but this was my first time experiencing the place in the flesh. (actually, and sadly, come to think of it, that episode of Amazing Race was the only thing i'd really seen about ghana upon arrival here 5 weeks ago. it all came about because hannah young made me watch it while hanging out at her apartment before i left in december. we made fun of the show as the cast members tried to sell sunglasses in the market and got laughed at and ripped off by locals haha.)


ok so back to the point:


who- me and a friend
what- buying sunglasses
when- wednesday
where- mokola market
why- to explore
how- arrived by tro-tro, traveled on foot


did you catch that? buying sunglasses. i was with my friend harrison and he bought sunglasses. and i was like, man, this is crazy. hannah and i were JUST watching this a coupla months ago. and it just happened. at that moment i couldn't get over the coincidence of it all. but really, is anything coincidence? 


i told hannah about it later (hi hannah, i know you're reading this and i love you) and she sent me this quote by her favorite theologian, Frederick Buechner:

...People laugh at coincidence as a way of relegating it to the realm of the absurd and of therefore not having to take seriously the possibility that there is a lot more going on in our lives than we either know or care to know. Who can say what it is that's going on? But I suspect that part of it, anyway, is that every once and so often we hear a whisper from the wings that goes something like this:

"You've turned up in the right place at the right time. You're doing fine. Don't ever think that you've been forgotten."

so stop asking if you're there yet. and i'll do the same. let's look around us and find beauty in the mundane. in the unexpected. know that you have a purpose wherever you are; embrace it. similarly to what sarah mchaney said in her XA blogpost, doubt is normal-- and more than that, it is the questioning that makes us grow. but it's what we do with it that matters.

a post on listening right and speaking well, and what to make of it all

a haiku4u:

we'll play it by ear

in one ear, out the other

that's how it works right?

i'm not writing any long blog posts on observations like i did the last two times. writing those posts was, for me, actually quite a laborious process. i'm not really into detailed observations and notes. 

i did, however, take some notes in my Twi language class today…notes on what i wanted to say in this blog post. hahaha. oops, i should have paid more attention to the lecture right? i couldn't help it! as my professor continued talking and writing on the board, it was hot and i the heat encouraged distraction and i started doodling, and thinking about how language and interactions shape the culture i've thus far experienced here. and then i started thinking about how that ties in with what i've been reading in Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz."

so stay with me.

hurrrrrr we go….

1. social barriers and taboos aren't the same. 

i learn fast about others, and others learn fast about me. common questions or explanations in many blossoming (and by blossoming i mean we JUST met) friendships include, "do you have a boyfriend?" or "do you want a boyfriend?" there is also, "are you christian?" and "you are beautiful!" and "what's your phone number? what's your room number?"

in America we don't move that fast. the difference in social cues makes me laugh. i'm totally comfortable with opening up this fast, it just amuses me to think about what would happen if i asked some rando on the DC metro all these questions during a morning commute.

2. conversations when it's all a sham.

so there's times when friendships move fast and it's genuine. but there's also those times when this thing called dishonesty dirties the waters of conversation. 

there are two ways this happens.

first, sometimes the locals i talk with are putting on a show all along, just for kicks and giggles. this doesn't happen all that much but it's amusing when it does. examples include times when a guy comes up to me and says, "i want to marry you. i love you. you are the best girl and you DESERVE the best, girl. i am professing my love to you right here and now. will you marry me?" 

in this instance, i know that he isn't serious. (some girls in my program really freak out when this happens because they don't realize it's like the ghanaian version of a pick-up line and NOT a legitimate proposition.) i don't freak out, but i've adopted the position of looking at him like he's the biggest idiot in the world and either walking away or changing the topic. i think next time i'll jump up and down and exclaim, "OMG YES! I'LL MARRY YOU! i thought you'd never ask! smooches! g2g to call my mom and tell her the news!!" and see what he says. he's just joking anyway, i might as well give him some of his own medicine.

along those lines, there are also times when i get my own chance to joke around. some of my friends and i have started telling people we're from Slovenia, or Norway, or Serbia. it's really fun, because we can put on weird accents and do a lot of improv. i know you might be judging me right now, because you might be thinking this is really rude slash deceitful of me. but i only do it when i'm meeting someone i'll literally never see again, usually someone hassling me for money. and usually it's a Rastafarian on the beach. the beaches here have hoards and hoards of Rastas just chillin, doing their own thing and trying to sell stuff. lots of stuff. telling them my real name just wouldn't be as fun. and besides, humor is universal. most of them aren't fooled by my stunning improv skills.

3. language as etiquette: saying "please" twice

if you're one of those people who like to beg and weasel your way into getting what you want, or if you're one of those people who often pulls the "please sir, i want some more" (in a british accent) line, then Twi is the language for you. saying "please" here is just expected, pretty much all the time. especially when a younger person speaks to an elder. but saying please is also expected in interactions with merchants, taxi cab drivers, etc. 

there are two different words for "please," one that you use at the beginning of the sentence and one that you can use at the end. some parts of ghana even use "please" before they insult some one.. i.e. "Please, you look like a fat cow." 

so, if you want to say please like a ghanaian, here's how you say it:

mepaakyew (pronounced meh-pach-oo) is the please you'd use to preface your sentence.

wae (why-ay) is what you'd use (and possibly repeat, for emphasis) at the end of your sentence.

4. a lingusitic anecdote for your enjoyment

i am learning not to assume i know the meaning of certain phrases in Twi until i see them written down. why, do you ask? well because i'm usually flat out wrong. sadly cognates do not exist between Twi and English, as they do for English and Spanish. 

you know the term "mamasita" in spanish? well i thought people were calling me a mamasita left and right when i first got here, and i was like, "hmmm that's a weird Spanish phrase to be in ghana.. all i've heard so far here is 'adios.'" that was until i saw it written down and saw that what they were really saying was "ma me sika" which means "give me money." hahahahahaha i laughed at myself really hard. all along i was flattered, but what was really happening was they were asking me for money. oh, how the mighty fall.

5. and finally, what Twi is teaching me about community and family.

ghana prizes its community and family relations. i learned yesterday that a word for aunt or uncle doesn't exist in Twi. there's a similar word, one used for your parents' friends or for people around your parents' age. but, for that legitimate aunt/uncle relation (your mom and dad's siblings) you'd just refer to them as your 2nd, 3rd, or 4th, mother or father. 

as i thought about it, that's a huge statement: that we are to care for our extended family just like our parents. that concept is something i really value; it resonates with me, i guess because it aligns so well with how much i value family and community in general. it also challenges me. like, what am i going to do with this, to make what i'm learning mean something?

...and then there's donald miller. i'm finally half way through Blue Like Jazz, and now i see why everyone raves about it. i borrowed it from hayley elliott years ago and never got past the first 10 pages, but now i can't put it down. at this season in my life i'm just eating up miller's words. anyhow i've been reading the impressions of christianity he formed before he became a christian, and about his impressions even after becoming a christ follower. he talked about how he used to judge Christ by the way he heard the idea delivered-- not by the merit of the idea itself. it's giving me a lot to think about in my own walk with Christ, and it's also giving me a new way of looking at the importance of listening and speaking well in my interactions here.

as i'm in the process of learning new social cues and new culturally ingrained ways of interacting, both of which are wrapped into and defined by this new language, i'm seeing that the WAY things are delivered is not what i should focus on. it's important to note, so that i can respond back appropriately. but ultimately, i should focus on the message BEHIND the delivery, the person behind the delivery, the idea behind the delivery. i should discover, seek to understand, and be understood. i should be myself, and free others to be themselves. when in ghana, do as the ghanaians do-- but ultimately remember that i'm here for a reason.

a haiku for you... then, adieu. 

we'll play it by ear?

that won't cut it anymore

be intentional

ps.
happy birthday uncle steve!
or should i say papa steve. bahhaah