living and dying, or really just something in between.

i offer up questions.
what does it MEAN to live, to live fully conscious of life and of death?
what is death, if i'm alive? or am i not really alive at all, but dying?

what value lies in seeing the sun from here, if i've never seen the earth from there?

i offer no answers. God is, was, will be The Answer. The Answer does not come in words alone, but in actions: of mercy, of sacrifice, of love.

none of us lives
for ourselves alone
and none of us dies
for ourselves alone
Romans 14.7

if seeing the sun from here, as it streams between tree branches, exposing rugged bare branches swaying like arms in a restless crowd-- if this is all it takes to glimpse unadulterated beauty, if for just a second-- i am content.
if this state of ignorance yields some semblance of Life and Life more abundant, and if dying to myself means coming alive in Someone Else, then i find joy in this restful sincerity of heart.
yes, rest.
maybe this moment of rest is all i needed.